Last night, alex and ben went looking for adventure in the seedy underbelly bars of downtown. They picked the wrong night to do it.
First Hilarious/Sad thing: The happiest Bro in the whole wide world
It turns out in bars with TVs normally play sports. and it being march…. it was MARCH MADNESS!!!!!!! Booyahhhh!!!!! There was an army of middle aged men in one corner. People just having a good time. Not much of a problem. Except for one guy. We’ll call him Bro. Bro loves basketball. A lot. Whenever his team did something worth noticing he would yell booyah quite loudly. Louder than his friends. Embarrassingly louder than his friends. He also proceeded to quote both Anchorman and Billy Madison in quick order.
Second Hilarious/Sad thing: The Lonely Psycho
Guy #2 was met first by alex on a smoke break. Alex overheard this guy on his phone outside, “…I thought you were my boy, but I guess not. I’m very disappointed bro.” Rut roh! This is gonna be awkward. He sat one seat away from us.
He then asked the bartender if they do shots there. Like does this establishment offer alcohol in the shot variety, right? Nope. He was asking if that individual lady does shots. So she accidentally agreed to having a drink with creepy. Quick back pedaling ensues. “we can’t do that on the clock, but i’ll have it in a bit…” You know she was trying to work in, “sorry I have to wash my hair tonight” before thinking of that quick escape.
He settled down for a bit. Then gets up to go to the bathroom. When he gets back he asks a different bartender, “hey did you throw my drink away?” But he didn’t just say it, he said it like Droopy Dog. The bartender didn’t understand him, then our guy just said nevermind, I don’t care. The bartender then walked away and found his beer by the bathroom.
A little while later, non-shot drinking girl asked him what was wrong. “oh, my team lost.” “Well it’s not the end of the world.” “yeah, i guess.” ben proceeded to text alex “Maybe by team he means wife and by lost he means left.” At that exact moment alex was texting ben “by team he means girlfriend, and by lost he means cheated on him with his cool friend.” It was a magical moment.
Third Hilarious/Sad thing: Girls Talked to us!
About how awesome Jagermeister is. Because they were trying to get us to buy some. Because they worked for Jagermeister. Booyahhh!!!!!
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